Goodbyes...

Goodbyes are awful y'all.  I really really really don't like them.

Sunday was so hard. Saying goodbye to all the people who had such an impact in my life in Fiji was the hardest thing I've ever done.  I had been putting off the thoughts about that day for awhile - if I just ignored it, pushed it aside, it couldn't happen right?

Wrong. So wrong.

I'll never forget those last hugs. 

Phil and Anneliese were such an inspiration. We got to work with them so much in planning for kids events and doing home visits.  They were always so eager and excited to include us and expose us to the people in Fiji.  They're hearts for ministry are so big, and I learned so much from them about flexibility and trusting in the Lord.  Their daughter, Mariah, helped get me through some of the moments where I was really missing my nieces.  Her little noises and smiles were so sweet ( and she is also the chillest baby ever....perfect for what her parents do! Mercy and Imogen would have been awful at it I think....haha).

Uncle Rusi and Auntie Sala have the biggest, most beautiful hearts I've seen.  Sharing their stories with us first gave me a glimpse into how big our God is, and how active He is throughout the world.  They have unfailing trust in what He has planned, no matter the hurt and pain that comes with it.  Seeing them cry at the airport just broke my heart....

Eden, Ray and Laura's oldest daughter, was so special to me.  She has such a calm heart, and was the greatest encourager for me! It was only because of her that I climbed over a waterfall, got into freezing cold water, and much more.  I loves our cuddles and her hugs.  I saw God through her so much this summer. 

Ray and Laura....I just can't explain how sad I was to say goodbye to them. I had amazing one on ones with Laura, and she always had amazing words to say to help guide and lead me.  I find a lot of similarities in our personalities, and she was so easy to connect with and open up to.  She has so much energy and does so much for her family and the Lord - she will always be a role model and friend I can turn to! And ray.....His personality always had a way of calming our team down, uniting us, and uplifting our hearts when they were overwhelmed.  He was easily a father figure while we were there, and I know he will always be there if I need anything at all.  His hugs were the best, and also the hardest to break away from going through the departure gates.

I'm sure we all looked crazy going through security. I fought so hard against completely breaking down, so sobs came out all funny while tears were everywhere.  The security guard lady was so sweet - another proof that Fijians are the nicest people I'll ever meet.  She asked how long we bad been there, and gave a few encouraging words before sending me on through.

I'm still in that stage where my heart hurts and is sad thinking about not seeing them again (at least anytime soon...). They were the people who were there the summer God taught me so much about who He is, and who I am in Him.  They were by my side during the many ups and downs this summer, and they'll always understand a part of me that people back home just won't.

I know it was such a blessing to get to meet these people, no matter the length of time.  It was all an amazing gift from my Father.  But it still hurts right now, and for once, I'm going to allow myself to feel that hurt instead of just pushing it aside. 

Y'all will forever be in my heart and in my prayers.  Thank you for pouring into me these past six weeks.  Love all y'all!!