Back to This Reality

I arrived home yesterday evening, and it has been a crazy, surreal experience so far.  I had heard about reverse culture shock before and anticipated that I would experience it somewhat, but it's actually been a bit more intense than I expected. There are the normal things - adjusting to driving again (driving on the right side in particular) paved roads, stores everywhere, etc - but there are other things and feelings I'm not sure if I can describe.  It's kind of like an out-of-body experience.  I can have these conversations with everyone, I can try to get back in my normal routine, but it feels like I'm on the outside, just watching myself go through it all.  I know that probably doesn't make much sense, but I can't think of a better way to explain it.

I try so hard to answer the question, "So how was it?!"  I am blessed to have so many people that care about all that I got to experience and see God do this summer.  At the same time, I honestly don't know how to explain to people everything that happened.  Life was just so different.  I saw and experienced things that words can't describe.  There were feelings and sights and sounds that no one will understand through a story.  I had to rely on God every moment of the day to get me through tasks and projects and communal living and just to give me enough energy to make it through a day.  I learned how powerful prayer is, in ways that we just can't comprehend here.  I saw Him reach out and lift people out of dark, dark places.  I saw Him love and encourage his sons and daughters, and use those far from Him in order to give and display that love and encouragement.  

He challenged me so much to give my heart and my entire being to Him.  I thought I had done that over here, but it was all a false reality.  He drew me so close to Him, and taught me that I can actually trust Him.  This was huge because I don't trust people - they normally let me down and hurt me so I just close up and never allow them close enough to give them that opportunity.  God made me see that He is actually trustworthy and He cares so much for me for some crazy strange reason.  I feel like I finally understand all the verses that speak of just being in awe of God - words don't do any of it justice. 

All I can say, is that I feel a sense of peace in my heart and my life right now.  There are so many unknowns for me and things that make me nervous and anxious.  Yet I know with all my being that our God is good and merciful and faithful.  I trust and believe His word and His promises, so I know that His plan truly is the best for me.  He will make that plan unfold - not me.  I can't mess that plan up because our God is sovereign over every single thing.  I saw that in incredible ways this summer, so I am now able to actually believe and understand that in a way I never did before.  Isaiah 26:3 has become the most inspiring, peaceful, loving verse for me.  I know that if I keep my mind focused on Him like it has been this summer, I can experience the gift of peace that Christ has given to us.  I trust Him for all that lies ahead, and know that He has more power and is bigger than any of us could ever imagine.  I saw it this summer, and my prayer is that every single one of you will be blessed to see and understand Him in this way. 


Here is a pretty amazing article that explains much, much better what I am trying to say.  So thankful for the friend who shared it with me :)  

 

I’m so forgetful, but You always remind me
You’re the only one who brings me peace
You’re the only one who brings me peace
So I come, Lord I come I come, Lord I come
To tell you I love you
To tell you I need you

To tell you there’s no better place for me than in your arms
To tell you I’m sorry
For running in circles
For placing my focus on the waves,not on your face

You’re the only one who brings me peace
You’re the only one who brings me peace