The Big Day!

The day is finally here.  

I'm really moving to England.

Today.

Is this real life?! 

Judging by my empty room and stuffed suitcases, it really is real life!! Today will be busy finishing prepping and packing and cleaning, which is good because I think it's keeping my mind off what's going to happen at 6:45.  

Conflicting emotions is an understatement.  I am really dreading having to say some of my hardest goodbyes to my nieces this afternoon.  I know Imogen doesn't really get it.  She opens the door to my room every morning though to come say hi and crawl in bed.  I keep thinking that tomorrow when she opens that door, I won't be here (neither will Chubby Wubby, who I think she is probably going to miss more...).  

Mercy gets it - she has been counting down the days with me on our fingers.  Every day it gets smaller, her voice gets a little sadder.  We got to go on a walk yesterday while is was so beautiful.  I didn't care that we stopped every two seconds to look at a bug, or dead leaf.  I didn't care that she literally talked non-stop.  I just wanted to enjoy every last minute with her.  She's provided so much joy and laughter (and tears and frustration...) for me these past few years.  She's taught me so much about Jesus and His and pursuit of me.  I thank the Lord He has used her as a vessel for those lessons. 

It's going to be just as hard to say goodbye to my sister.  It's been so amazing to live with them these past two years.  Again, the Lord has used her and her husband to grow me in new ways with Him.  I've seen what marriage looks like that's focused on the Lord.  I've seen parenting that puts the gospel first.  I won't miss certain smells or a game of 'boo'...BUT I'll miss coming home and having everyone there!

There are so many friends and family that I just hate to leave behind.  I've had to say several of my goodbyes already, including with my church family.  That was so hard, but encouraging for my soul as well.  Today I'll say goodbye to my bestest friend since freshman year of high school.  Katie's been my constant, and it's so amazing that the Lord saved both of us so close together.  She challenges and encourages me in my faith, and we just have the most fun ever together.  We've had great adventures, and I know there will be many more to come!

Despite all of these goodbyes, my heart cannot wait to meet the family and friends God has already prepared for me in England.  I can't wait to start this next season in my life - one where I'm completely dependent on the Lord.  There isn't anything comfortable about this move.  It's a land of unknown for me, but praise the Lord it isn't unknown to Him.  It's because of that that I feel this immense peace, joy, and excitement.  My heart belongs to Him, and I want nothing more than to pursue what He has made me for. 

I went to the John Mark McMillan concert last night, and it was so beautiful to just watch people praising and celebrating the Lord together.  It put the biggest smile on my face! Then, I thought of all the people that can't join in this worship - who won't be there when Jesus returns.  That broke my heart - and gave me new energy and desire for this mission.  I want to be used by the Lord to bring MORE brothers and sisters into this love and family we have.  I want my life to be used by Him to radically change others.  I want my life to simply be surrendered for His work and His desires.  

And that is why I'm leaving today.  That's why it's worth all of the heartache and sadness.  

If you're interested in tracking my flight, here is all of my information!  I promise to update and send pictures when I have a chance :)

FinnAir (US Airways)

Flight 4121

6:45 pm (EST)

British Airways

Flight 1388

6:55 am (EST)