Be Kind

This morning, as I was reading God's word and listening to some music, a song came on that made me stop.  I closed my eyes, listened to the words, and felt the Spirit speaking to me through it.

2015 was such a year of growth for me.  I didn't face a lot of external battles, but the internal, mental ones were pretty brutal.

I think we are so often focused on what is going on outside that we forget that there is a battle waging in our minds, too.  We can't physically see it in others, or ourselves, but it's there.

It's in the thoughts we have about our bodies.

It's in the thoughts we have about performance.

It's in the thoughts we have about how we measure up.

It's in the thoughts we have that compare ourselves to others.

It's in the thoughts we have that tell us we aren't good enough.

It's in the thoughts we have that we can't possibly do anything great.

It's in the thoughts we have that we will never be free from our past.

It's in the thoughts we have of shame, regret, and guilt.

It's in the thoughts we have of anger towards ourselves for mistakes.

In all of these, we are facing an enemy that stares back at us every time we look in the mirror.

Ourselves.

After so many years of being told by others that I wasn't good enough, that I needed to do more to earn love, that I had to work off this feeling of shame and unworthiness - it got stuck in my head.  

It became a habit that I couldn't break.  The voice inside my head told me that it's reality - it claimed to be the truth.  

I know I'm not the only one that feels this way.  I see people struggle with this every single day.  It expresses itself differently in us all, whether it's through fear or anger or an obsession with fashion or over-the-top jokes and stories.  We all struggle with an enemy that wants us to believe that we just aren't good enough, and we need to work hard to make up for that.

I want you to know that there is hope.  There is a way to break this cycle and learn to love your greatest enemy: yourself.  It doesn't happen overnight, and it takes a lot of reminders and perseverance.

I've spent several times crying out in anger and sadness to God over it all.  I've searched the Word, memorised scripture, journaled my heart out, had counselling, reached out to others for help - and I still have moments when I enter into old routines of beating myself up on the inside. 

But there has also been amazing growth.  I've seen and learned new things about the gospel message that I wouldn't have experienced otherwise.  The gospel truly does cover it all - including your internal fight. 

Jesus died in our place for all of our sins (including the way you think and talk to yourself as a child of God) because He loves us something fierce.  If you call Christ Lord of your life, know that He is moulding and shaping your heart into something beautiful.  

He wants you to see yourself the way that He does:

precious.

honoured.

valuable.

a new creation.

Brothers and sisters, let's live this year with eyes like Jesus.  Let's fight our number one enemy and overwhelm him/her with love.

Let's be kind to ourselves. 

"You can't expect to be perfect
It's a fight you've gotta forfeit
You belong to me whatever you do
So lay down your weapon, darling
Take a deep breath and believe that I love you"

Be Kind to Yourself, Andrew Peterson