Love...

I've posted about my favoritest rapper before (Mansion), and he released another amazing album this fall. There are SO many songs on there that hit me hard, but one in particular couldn't have come at a better time. 

It came in a season where my boyfriend, Mark, was just entering my life.  One where I knew he was different, yet all the old fears of relational intimacy came roaring their ugly head. One where God was asking me to open up - to be truly vulnerable with someone again. One where I was faced with entering into painful pieces of my past.

One where God was asking me to entrust my heart and desires in His hands - believing that He would care for me whether Mark hurt me or not. 

And that, my friends, was flipping terrifying. 

Yet it's also been one of the biggest acts of redemption in my life. I laid it out there for Mark on our first date. I explained my fears and gave him the opportunity to run the opposite direction....all the while, I felt God whispering, "Jump, Allie." Instead of backing down in the face of all my fears, Mark stepped up.

I think back on that day now and sit in awe as I reflect on the lessons God's taught me about HIS love for me. He's spoken to me over and over again, literally asking me to take a leap of faith so that He can redeem.... 

Redeem memories.

Redeem emotions.

Redeem words.

Redeem touch.

Redeem love.

He's showing me that love requires sacrifice. It requires opening yourself to pain, giving away trust before it's been earned, and a willingness to put aside your own fears so that another may feel fear-less.

Ultimately, He's reminding me of how beautiful that old, rugged cross truly is. How Jesus displayed His love for us in a way that was so painful, so terrifying - yet He did it anyways; and that opened us up to be able to receive and experience the greatest love ever possible.  

My prayer for you, sweet friend, is that you jump.

Jump into whatever it is that just seems too terrifying, too painful, too much for your brain to comprehend - and let Him catch you. 

Let Him meet you in the middle of your fears, your old wounds and scars, the places where you thought life would never grow again.

Let Him overwhelm you with love and life and the truth that He is forever faithful. 

He's ready to give you ALL His love, friend.