Beautiful Baggage

I don't like the stories and plans God creates. I think He messes up, and I don't think He is doing it right.

Yea...I just admitted that. I know some people say this, but I 100% realised I needed to own that thought.

I was joking with a friend today about the infamous 'baggage' that people bring into relationships. How it effects conversations, marriages, friendships, work relations, and every other aspect of our lives.

In my mind, I was thinking of the negatives. I was thinking of how much drama it creates, how it causes me to personally bring these barriers and walls into relationships.  Baggage others carry makes me have to be aware of the way I verbalise things or react to situations.

I was expressing how tiring it was, and how it'd be nice to just not have that.

{As I'm writing this, I feel more vulnerable than normal. Vulnerable to others thoughts and feelings and judgements from these thoughts...so I'm asking for some grace. }

After church today, a friend helped me realise just how deeply I let that thought seep into relationships with others. She challenged me when she asked if I thought I brought baggage into relationships.  I thought she was joking. "Ummm of course. I have a lot of baggage and it affects and hinders a lot of relationships. Everyone has baggage!"

I don't think I'm the only one who thinks that way. I don't think my mind is the only one that sees how the past affects the future. One of y'all surely understands what I mean, right? :)

But then I saw my friend's face and realised she was serious. She challenged me even more when she said that God doesn't see our 'baggage' like we do. We make it into this big thing, yet it's nothing in God's eyes. By thinking and focusing on the baggage, we give it so much power.

Power to affect our thoughts. 

Power to affect our actions. 

Power to affect our friendships. 

Power to affect our relationships. 

Power to affect our relationship with God. 

That hit me something deep. As I reflected on these words this afternoon, I felt Him telling me that it's not baggage that people bring into relationships. 

People bring their own unique story, experiences, and lessons 

that God perfectly ordained and designed.

And who am I to say that this story is too much work? That this person's past affects too much of their life - or mine? Who am I to say that my past is too much 'baggage' for someone to handle?

This is where I realised that I didn't like God's stories and plans and designs in my life or others. I wanted Him to give me and others this perfect, neat, untroubled story. It seems easier to get by without having to work hard to be with someone who has had pain and sadness and hurt in their life. 

Today, I feel like God is challenging me to see the beauty in baggage.  He's wanting me to stop focusing on the negative affects, and just see the absolute perfection in the stories He is writing, in my life and others. 

If I ever get married, I want my husband to never feel like he has to hide his 'baggage.' I don't want him to feel ashamed of anything. I don't want him to feel like he has to hide parts of his story. I want to love his story - the one that God so uniquely and lovingly wrote for him.

And I want him to love my story as well. I want him to see the scars as signs of beautiful strength, not sad memories. I want him to be able to fully know me, and to know him fully as well - that's not possible if we hide or cover up our past and its effects.

This doesn't mean that we don't recognise the effects of our past on our future, but that we have to reframe our reaction to it. Instead of criticising and wishing away parts of our past, we can choose instead to see the love of our Father in it. 

Learn to extend grace to others. Don't let them fall into sinful patterns, but challenge them from a pure heart with pure motives. 

Take a moment and ask the Lord where you need to see baggage as a beautiful story. 

Is it in your friend? 

Your coworker? 

Your spouse? 

Yourself?

Whomever it is, let's start reframing our minds. Let's make the choice to see the love of the Father in that person's past. 

Let's choose to change the world by seeing baggage as absolutely beautiful. 

"So we hide behind the pretty things

behind the laughter and behind the smiles

I've got my scars that I'm hiding, too

Oh darling

show me what you're hiding

and I'll show you what I'm hiding

pretty things"