Levi Preston Smiley
I’ve heard how important it is to get your
birth story written down as soon as possible to remember everything – and now I
know why. My brain and details/remembering things don’t go together well right
now! So before I forget it all, here’s the wonderful story of Levi’s birthday J
I woke up around 4:15am with lots of back
pain and cramps. I had been having horrible back pain the previous day, and
most of my Braxton Hicks were mainly in my back as well so I didn’t think too
much of it.
But then they started getting intense and
coming in waves, so I thought, ‘Maybe I should just start timing them.’ I
started timing them around 4:30, and they were all a minute long, every 2.5-3
minutes. I had heard for your first that you normally labour for 24 hours or more,
so I just thought they’d end. Mark asked if I thought this was it, and I told
him confidently, "No way".
By 6:15am, I called the midwives. She
listened to me over the phone as I had a couple contractions – there was no way
I could talk through them – and she said we shoul
We got to the hospital around 7:15 or
so. The midwife said they normally
observe you for a while beforehand, but she could tell by my contractions that
this was it. We skipped protocol and were admitted right away.
I was checked shortly after, and was fully
effaced and 4cm dilated. She asked if I
had any work done on my cervix before as she could feel all the scar tissue
there. I let her know about my history with cysts, and it was from that.
Apparently scar tissue leads to worse back pain and more intense contractions –
so I was glad to hear there was a reason for it!
I labored for about 2.5 hours before
getting my epidural. You have to stay
completely still during this process, which sounds fine – until a contraction
hits. Not fun. After it kicked in, I was feeling much better. I was able to lay
down and take a nap while Mark went and got some lunch.
Around 11am, I was checked again and was already 6cm. I
was also put on oxygen around this time. The nurse simply said that the baby
needed some extra oxygen. The epidural had also started wearing off on my left
side – or it just simply wasn’t taking. I felt the contractions in my hips and
back again and they weren’t fun.
The midwife came in again around 12:30 to
check me again and I jumped from 6 to 9.5cm in the past hour. We tried a push
to see how it was going, and she said we should wait just a little bit longer
to fully start. They said they’d be back at 2 to start pushing.
By 1:45pm, I thought I was going to die if
someone didn’t come in to let me push. I was feeling all the pressure, along
with the contractions still on my left side. Due to some other circumstances,
the midwife and nurse didn’t head back in until 2:30 – and I can’t tell you how
wonderful it felt to push!!
My vitals were being monitored the whole
time, and apparently I had a fever that had been increasing. Normally that
wouldn’t matter, but when baby is on his/her way out, and already needing
oxygen, it wasn’t a good combo.
After pushing for an hour, the midwife
suddenly said they needed to call the doctor in. He, along with about ten other
people, came rushing in – saying we needed forceps and an episiotomy right
away.
To say I was overwhelmed and frightened is
an understatement. I was already emotional, a stranger and his whole team had
come bursting in, and I was being told baby needed to come out pronto. Mark
fought for them to not use any intervention, and luckily the doctor listened –
for a little bit.
He let me try pushing again and I was so
determined to get this little one out without forceps on their little head. I
was so lightheaded, and exhausted emotionally and physically. I had the oxygen
between every push and it was literally a lifesaver.
The doctor said he needed to try the
forceps at this time because baby’s heart rate was well over 200 and that,
along with my fever, wasn’t a good thing for baby. He was able to get one on,
but then it slipped off.
During this time, I’m praying fervently that
God would get this baby out without the forceps
- that he/she would be healthy – that God would give me the energy to
push harder than ever – for baby’s head to move.
When the forcep slipped off, I gave a
couple more pushes. I heard a pop and knew instantly it was my tailbone (I had
broken it before in college and knew it had been damaged again). Mark said that was the only time I screamed
out – that pain is real! But then I felt baby’s head come out. Everyone was so
excited and told me to keep going for the shoulders – and I felt those come out
too.
The doctor placed the baby on my chest
while Mark announced it was a BOY! I remember being in awe. Even though I
called the baby a 'he' the whole time, I truly didn’t know. All the dreams I had
were about a little toddler girl. But the week leading up to Levi arriving, I
kept dreaming of an infant boy.
Levi was only on my chest for what seemed
like a minute before the doctors whisked him away. He was blue from a lack of
oxygen, and the NICU team had been called in. They got tubes down his throat
and nose, and IVs inserted into his tiny hands. They had a separate oxygen mask
on him too. I remember looking over and just being heartbroken seeing him
crying with all these things on him.
While this was going on, the doctor was stitching me up – I had prayed so hard against any tearing, but ended up
getting a fourth degree tear – the worst possible. In addition, I could feel
the doctor sewing the whole time. He kept putting local anaesthesia in, but I
could still feel the pain.
Eventually they brought Levi over to me and
put him on my chest again, while the NICU doctor explained what was going on.
He was having trouble transitioning to oxygen from fluid inside the womb. He
wasn’t able to breathe room air yet, and needed to go up to the NICU to stay
monitored and on oxygen.
About two hours later, I was able to order
some food, and then was led up to the NICU to finally see Levi. As I was rolled
up to his bed, I couldn’t stop crying. He had all these cords and monitors on
him and he looked so small. The tube in this throat was the worst – it was so
tiny but it was giving him nutrients. Something I wasn’t able to do because he
wasn’t able to breathe without support yet.
I stayed with him for what seemed like no
time at all before I had to go to the antepartum room. Our nurse gave me
medications, and taught me how to pump. I pumped what I could for Levi, praying
that I’d get to hold him soon.
That first night was rough. It took me over
an hour of sitting on the toilet to be able to pee. I kept waking up feeling
empty – missing little Levi. My dreams were scary and dark.
We woke up and met with various doctor’s to
go over my own situation. I had been given antibiotics to deal with the fever,
met with a doctor to talk about my tailbone, a midwife came in to talk to us
about the delivery, and the doctor who delivered Levi came by to check on us.
He was actually an incredibly nice guy and I apologised for being not happy to
see him during the delivery…
Then we finally got to go up and see Levi.
I was able to hold my baby boy for the first time and I could have stayed there
for ages. His nurse explained that he had ripped out the oxygen himself, and
wasn’t able to handle the air on his own yet. He was doing better, but still
not ready to come off.
I kept trying to pump during this time, and
getting next to nothing. I was so heartbroken. I felt like that was the ONE
thing I could do for my son, and I was failing him. I’d get droplets, knowing
full well that he needed much more than that. It’s still something I’m
struggling with – but we’re getting there.
We spent Wednesday meeting with a lactation consultant, visiting Levi, resting,
and trying to sort out bills and birth certificates and all the many things
that are thrown at you right after.
Levi had to spend the next night in the
NICU as well. They had decreased his oxygen level that day, and were hoping he
would be off soon. On Thursday we checked in on him again to try and feed him,
and saw that he was completely off oxygen! It was such a joy to see that. He
had also had his first bottle! We met with the NICU doctor and he explained
that he thought we could take Levi home with us – that we would be discharged
at the same time. A total miracle and answered prayer. At that point, we
thought we’d have to go home separately. Something that my emotions just were
not ready to process….
Levi had to get all these final tests done,
and we had to wait on his circumcision as well. The day was spent walking from the third to fourth floor - something that was exhausting and painful on my body after everything, but I wanted to be with Levi as much as possible. By 4:30 on Thursday, he FINALLY
was able to get his circumcision done – so I went and got discharged, Mark loaded up the
car, and we waited in the NICU room with Levi while he recovered.
At 7:30pm, we pulled away from the hospital
as a family of three. I was exhausted. I was crying. I wanted sleep. I wanted
to hold Levi. I wanted to feed him. I wanted to just be in our home.
I’ll write another post on what postpartum
has been like so far. That’s a whole other story that many people just don’t
talk about. But I don’t plan on being silent on the whole process ;)
Despite it being wild couple days in the
hospital, I can’t describe how happy we are to have little Levi home with us.
The song below kept playing over and over in my head during labour, delivery, and when I'd wake up in the middle of the night crying and missing Levi. It's such a beautiful reminder that no matter what comes our way, nothing can take away our praise of the Lord.
O, what can take away
My hallelujah
No darkness can contain
My hallelujah
Your cross has made the way
For my hallelujah
My hallelujah
Nothing can take my hallelujah
Nothing can take my hallelujah
Shadows will fade, darkness will break
I'll keep on singing Your praise
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