Head to the Heart

"What do you think His heart is towards you?"

This was the question that stumped me at counselling recently. We were talking about my health and some other personal things, and my counsellor was challenging me in an area of doubt and disbelief - and neither of us knew how deep that root went.

One of the things the Lord has been teaching me through this season of suffering and doubt and darkness has been to turn my faith from head knowledge into something that touched the core of my heart.

So when asked what His heart was towards me, I just thought the obvious answers: He loves me, He wants to see me grow, and suffering is the best way to do it sometimes.

I get this picture in my head when asked what God sees when He looks at me. It's one where Jesus' robe is covering me completely. I'm hidden underneath that robe, so when God looks at me, He just sees Jesus' robe covering me.

Yes, that is true. I am clothed in the robe of Jesus' righteousness. When God looks at me, He sees me covered in Jesus' blood.

But what I didn't realise in this image was that God didn't actually see ME. He didn't see my heart. He didn't see my personality. He didn't see my weaknesses. He didn't see my strengths. He didn't see my character.

In a sense, I was buried and so hidden in Jesus that I was invisible.

This past week, He's been challenging me to see the untruth in that statement and image. God doesn't just see Jesus when He looks at me.

He sees me....all of my messy, sarcastic, emotional self.

He sees all the thoughts going on in my head and heart.

He sees how I hurt when those I love hurt.

He sees how much I desire to please and serve Him.

He sees my struggles with performance and acceptance.

He sees my need to serve and love on others.

He sees what makes me weep and what brings me joy.

He sees when I struggle with sins - the victories and the defeats.

It's as if these scales have fallen from my eyes again. He's removing this lie and untruth that He only delights in my victories - in the areas where I most reflect Jesus.

Condemnation (n)

• the expression of very strong disapproval 

I had never heard this definition of condemnation before, but when I read it, y'all I literally wept...

...because Romans 8:1 says this: "There is now therefore no condemnation for those who belong to Jesus."

Did you catch that connection?!?! There is NO disapproval for those of us who belong to Jesus. 

Call me crazy for just connecting those dots, but it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, and I felt Him releasing me from working to EARN approval from Him.

Friends, if you love Jesus and call Him your Saviour. If you live a life devoted to God's glory and harness the power of the Spirit in your soul - God does NOT disapprove of you! Even if you aren't there yet - God still desires and loves you. 

He loves your personality quirks. He loves that weird laugh that you have. He delights to see you dance all silly. He laughs when you laugh. He weeps when you weep. It pains Him to see you hurt. He loves to see the joy that this Earth brings you. He genuinely delights to see you, His beloved child, living life ABUNDANTLY.

My prayer for you, sweet friend, is that this truth sets you free. Free to let go of the idea that He just puts up with you - that He HAS to deal with you because of the work on the cross. 

I pray that you feel the Father's love for you, sweet brothers and sisters. I pray that in realising this truth, you're able to breathe out the shame, fear and weakness that's inside of you - and instead breathe in the grace, peace, and strength found in the Father's arms.

He loves you. He delights in you. 

Let that move from your head to your heart, friend.