Let Go and Hold Firm
This weekend was just amazing. I went to a seminar on Islam, and my heart was challenged in some really cool ways. I am excited to see how the Lord continues that desire to love and set free those who are captive, especially in this area :)
At my church, we have just started working through Titus, and the Spirit convicted me in a way that I wasn't even imagining it could be - funny how He does that right?
There were two words that really stood out to me in Titus 1:9, "hold firm." Our pastor challenged us to see an area that we were holding firm to instead of the gospel. In the moment, I wasn't really thinking of anything.
At community group that night though, that same question came up. And the Spirit kept putting one word in my mind:
I'm all for relationships and marriage - I think they are absolutely beautiful things that God uses to display His gospel.
Yet I don't really want anything to do with them. In fact, I tend to run (possibly sprint if I'm being honest....) the other direction. I don't really think that is a bad thing - I value this time so much that I get to just devote myself entirely to the Lord. Sure, I have a desire to one day be married - although even as I write that, I kind of cringe internally....
I never really viewed this as an idol though, something that I was firmly holding onto in my life. I've heard idolatry described as a good thing that we turn into a God thing. There's nothing inherently wrong with the things we idolize, it's just that we have turned them into something we worship and serve and have placed them up as high as our Lord.
As much as it hurts when He shows us where our heart and soul is clinging to sometimes, I am truly grateful. My Father wants what is best for me, and He knows what that is (He created and formed every single cell in my body after all).
Singleness and missions work is really a super amazing combination. I can go wherever I feel the Lord pulling me. I can be free to plan outreach events. I can go to seminars like the one this weekend without having to ask anyone. I can just drive around and pray to meet strangers open to talking about the gospel. I have the absolute freedom to go wherever the wind (or the Spirit) takes me.
But I am idolizing this. I am idolizing that freedom. I am idolizing the safety and security that I have. I am idolizing the control I have. I am idolizing this amazing gift that the Lord has blessed me with, and I am serving it instead of my Father.
I know this is normally where you put in some big motivational thing that helps us refocus and re-center, and seek to do something to change or fix what we have just realized.
Instead, this time, I'm just going to lay it aside. I'm just going to submit it and trust it to the Lord to take care of. There's just too much to balance when I try to take this yoke of singleness upon myself, so I'm just going to keep His yoke on instead - and trust that He will remove those idols, those strongholds, that I am holding so firmly onto instead of Him.
At my church, we have just started working through Titus, and the Spirit convicted me in a way that I wasn't even imagining it could be - funny how He does that right?
There were two words that really stood out to me in Titus 1:9, "hold firm." Our pastor challenged us to see an area that we were holding firm to instead of the gospel. In the moment, I wasn't really thinking of anything.
At community group that night though, that same question came up. And the Spirit kept putting one word in my mind:
Singleness.
Yet I don't really want anything to do with them. In fact, I tend to run (possibly sprint if I'm being honest....) the other direction. I don't really think that is a bad thing - I value this time so much that I get to just devote myself entirely to the Lord. Sure, I have a desire to one day be married - although even as I write that, I kind of cringe internally....
I never really viewed this as an idol though, something that I was firmly holding onto in my life. I've heard idolatry described as a good thing that we turn into a God thing. There's nothing inherently wrong with the things we idolize, it's just that we have turned them into something we worship and serve and have placed them up as high as our Lord.
As much as it hurts when He shows us where our heart and soul is clinging to sometimes, I am truly grateful. My Father wants what is best for me, and He knows what that is (He created and formed every single cell in my body after all).
Singleness and missions work is really a super amazing combination. I can go wherever I feel the Lord pulling me. I can be free to plan outreach events. I can go to seminars like the one this weekend without having to ask anyone. I can just drive around and pray to meet strangers open to talking about the gospel. I have the absolute freedom to go wherever the wind (or the Spirit) takes me.
But I am idolizing this. I am idolizing that freedom. I am idolizing the safety and security that I have. I am idolizing the control I have. I am idolizing this amazing gift that the Lord has blessed me with, and I am serving it instead of my Father.
I know this is normally where you put in some big motivational thing that helps us refocus and re-center, and seek to do something to change or fix what we have just realized.
But I'm honestly tired of trying harder.
Instead, this time, I'm just going to lay it aside. I'm just going to submit it and trust it to the Lord to take care of. There's just too much to balance when I try to take this yoke of singleness upon myself, so I'm just going to keep His yoke on instead - and trust that He will remove those idols, those strongholds, that I am holding so firmly onto instead of Him.
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